The stupidest things ever created? Maybe....

I recently read an article on the Australian News website, my favorite place to do so as they are just so eloquent with stuff and their news is just awesome.  Well this article was hilarious, as it had many things I've seen but not often stopped to think about, which they called the stupidest things ever created.

Here is a link to the original story.

Of course the selfie stick was in the list, I mean what list of stupid things is complete without this wonder.  The thing is, people actually buy this.  All so they can strap their phone to it and get a distance shot.  Some people just never give up taking photos of themselves (I have never taken a selfie, just for the record here).

Lawn Darts was in the list and I consider this not stupid, but rather valuable, valuable in that it was used as a means to weed out the dumb ones.  If you were stupid enough to get hit by one of these heavy, huge, pointed darts you threw up into the air, then my case is made.

The diet water is a typical Japanese thing/fad, but it made me chuckle.  Reminds me of when we used to joke around about drinking a can of Tab and that we never drank the single calorie in the can cause we left a bit behind at the end (now Tab was more toxic than putrid).

Now the Uroclub is somewhat genius, but is only useful for half the population of the planet. Basically it is a tube you stick your dick into and pee, while being quite covered up.  It could be handy if you would rather take a piss on the green than go into the woods.  Now I have to wonder why some greens are greener than others.  But can you imagine the smell in your golf bag after a while?

Kids stripper pole is just too easy, and the anti masturbation gum, apparently lasts up to 6 hours.  Yeah, we know what circle that would work in, don't we boys and girls.  And back to golf, the potty putter is just what you need while taking a shit. Sink two holes in one at once!!

Of course I am sure that many of these items are just straight out gags, but either way, I am going to have to start collecting some of them, for I am sure my gold fish would love a walk outside, where any passing heron can stop by and have them for a snack.

Remembering the Dragon Lady

It is not often that I sit down to write something about a dear friend of mine, who I've known for years, but last week a fellow Canadian Author, Sandie Bergen passed away unexpectedly.  I first met Sandie back around oh 1998 to 1999 when I started writing.  She was part of a group of people I met through something called the Online Writing Workshop.  Sandie was heavily into fantasy, a genre that I myself have been treading into recently.  In fact it was this group that called me the mafia uncle, and as I was doing zeolite chemistry at the time, Uncle Zeo was born.

I remember it all too well because I believe it was Sandie who commented about a certain author (who has since then won a Nebula and Hugo (I am still unsure how they even did this) who went around trashing the work of freshies (yeah yeah, new lingo for me here).  I took it upon myself to strike back, and man did I ever.  It was epic as it is not often I get accused of using foul language (I used the word damn) and was able to use the Sopranos defense (I said I was discriminated against for being Canadian and the fact that the Sopranos was shown in prime time up here with no censoring, and its not like I used Lord Fuckpants (one of my favorite monikers of all time)).  Anyway, it was from that event I was called the mafia uncle, with my brother, Uncle Jay.

As often happens, we lose contact with many people, but I have stayed in relative good contact with the bulk of this group, and that included Sandie.  She was always ready to give me her opinion on stuff and just sit back and have a good old chat.  I had the opportunity to meet Sandie in real life twice, with her husband, and her children. Those are two meals I remember very well, for it was a good time.  It is one of the few times when you meet someone online and find out they are even nicer in real life.

In one of the last conversations I had with Sandie, she related a story to me that put a lot in perspective for me in life, and it is something I will cherish.  Not only have I lost a good friend who took joy in writing, but we have lost a good author too.  And I will remember her as I carry on with my publications.

I currently have 2 reviews up for Sandie's works at www.thedundassreviews.ca and will be adding a third very soon.   I would encourage all of you to go out and buy at least one of her books.

Sandie, you touched a lot of people not only with your stories, but with your kindness in life. You always put others ahead of you, and were fair and constructive in your reviews of others.  I am sad that your time in this life was cut so short.  I do feel that you will be watching the old group, and in someways, influencing us.  I will miss you.

KFC did it again....Just waiting for the lawsuit cause you know its coming...

So just what the hell is it with KFC (yeah they never call it Kentucky Fried Chicken anymore, and shit when I was a kid, it was good and considered a treat).  First they have the double down, which was fat, more fat and even more fat with that deep fried greasy goodness that only comes from bullshit phony southern cooking.  You know there is nothing else that says welcome to your heart attack like have lots of bacon between two deep fried pieces of chicken slathered with some flavored mayo, and one piece of lettuce even a homicidal rabbit wouldn't touch.

So what has KFC done?  Well in the land of the balut (go look it up, I dare you..ahh hell look at the end of this), which is the Philippines, they have now introduced the Double Down Hot Dog, and have replaced the bun with, you guessed it, a piece of greasy, deep fried chunk of chicken, and it is slathered in cheese sauce.  My left arm is getting a pain just thinking about it.  And one has to wonder why each KFC store is limited to only selling 50 a day.  Is it cause they run out of the cheese sauce?  Grease for the chicken?  Or are they trying to limit the heart attacks?

I have often wondered who is working at KFC that dreams up this stuff.  In almost every newspaper we see that North Americans are quite obese and need to start losing this weight.  In one Toronto paper, it was stated Coke was making itself less sweet in this country finally.  Only took 110 years.
So people are rushing for this new gut killer by the dozens, afraid of missing out on the fact that only 50 of these killer hotdogs are actually available per store per day.  One reporter went so far as to suggest you be sitting on the shitter while eating one of these, as it will probably rip right through your asshole at warp speed.

Choose your Poison!!!!

Finally...

Alright, we know the propensity for people in the US to sue over dumb things (yes we  all remember the hot coffee incident with McDonald's coffee in the woman's lap, a law suit that should've never reached the courts).  Now we see even more the whole attitude of entitlement and how far people really are willing to not take responsibility for themselves. 

Here is a link to the story: Source CNN

It is my understanding that universities are supposed to be for education, but here we have former students who claim they got no education because they were athletes and basically they claim they were misled.  Well, it seems some lawyer has decided to represent two students who say that they were promised an education and didn't get one.  Hmmm, didn't get one in good part because of these so-called paper classes that have been shown to be fronts for cheating to ensure that athletes can maintain grades in their courses and be eligible to play their sport. 

I think this is a very multi-sided issue, with of course, the first question being, why are you now bringing a lawsuit forward after you gradate?  How in the hell is it you took classes without realizing that you weren't learning in the first place?  That in of itself sits solely on the shoulders of these two athletes and others. 

That is where I would start, but also I will point out the university is to blame as well.  I see it with programs designed to get into med school, where the students that don't make it into med school, and simply have a useless degree when they graduate.  Some colleges do have a disclaimer that says quite boldly: have other plans, you are likely not getting in.  But many will not give a shit about any athlete that doesn't end up in the professional level of sports, and well that is unfortunate.  They are essentially swept away and forgotten quite readily (kind of reminds me of Al Bundy). 

Where also are the parents who are supposed to parent their kids, guiding them through life with both their successes and failures (oh wait, we're not allowed to fail children anymore, apparently it harms them too much....grrrrr).  Why are the parents not stressing that education is more important than chasing some under inflated ball across 300 feet of perfectly good lawn that could be used for something more useful, like growing food.  But honestly, why are the parents not being sued for lacking to ensure that their children are getting a good education?  Hmmm, guess it is more important for your kids to concentrate on sports than an actual education, and why not, you can sue after if you don't make into the majors.

But at the end of the day, I hate to say it, these athletes were scammed, not only by the university and the NCAA, but by their parents, who lied to them and told them they were good enough to make it to the professional leagues.  So why aren't the kids suing their parents too?  Let's not forget that the university should counter sue the athletes for misrepresenting themselves in their talent.  They said they were good enough, or somehow managed to make it through the tryouts, only to fail at gaining a place in the professional leagues.  And let's also not forget that ever loving lawyer who managed to win a lawsuit for athletes, deciding for the most part to push even further because they managed to get students paid some money for their images being used (this lawsuit had a bit more merit, I will admit), but I think they need to be reprimanded for essentially wasting the courts' time.  If you are unsure you are getting a good education while doing your studies, perhaps you don't belong there.  It is time for people to take responsibility for their own actions and stop this useless circle of suing other people for what in the end is your own making. 

The trouble with scientists

As a scientist, I find that many of the world's so-called experts are nothing more than arrogant assholes, some of whom are down right phonies.  I was reminded of this when reading a quick archaeological update and I want to draw attention to the fact that even though many of us do research, so many are simply close-minded to the point that they don't want to hear anything whatsoever that goes against what they have researched.  I often feel that many of them would rather brush something under the carpet, or as one of those maverick archaeologists once said, he could imagine people from the Smithsonian Institute out in the middle of the ocean dumping artifacts that in fact went against modern belief at the time.  Hell we know they dumped the first coffin JFK was in at sea, but because it wasn't widely reported, it became part of the myth surrounding the conspiracy theory.

For a lot of my life, I have often read what can be called alternate history books, which of course falls into the realm of proof for Atlantis, alien visitation to Earth, hell even people living in middle Earth.  I can remember reading the Lost Cities series by David Hatcher CHildress (I recommend it as if anything they are good travel books) and being amazed by his travels around the world, and even more amazed by the observations that he noted at many archaeological sites.  One that still stands tall in my mind is are the ruins found both in Africa and South America that have the exact same writing on them, but just an ocean away.  Then there is the language issue where many words on both sides of the Atlantic have similar structures, like they came down from the same source (if you want to see this, look at the Romance Languages, all of which came down from Latin).

But what gets me overall is the arrogance of humans towards human archaeology and evolution.  Not all that long ago when I was going through school, the human tree was such that it went directly from one species of man to another, with a big question mark for Neanderthal, because God forbid that we didn't have a branched tree.  It was only during a class where one of my high school teachers, who had to skirt around the issue of evolution, brought up that we are unique in having a linear tree.  It was within ten years of class that it was revealed humans have a branched tree, like everything else in nature.  It was a big revelation let me tell you and somewhat shocked the world that man was just another animal and wasn't special (at one point in the tree there were at least 3 different species of man living on this planet at the same time).  Of course this did nothing to even get the Creationists to shut the hell up.

But even when you look at civilization, for a long time, it was 5000 BC was when civilization started.  It can't be earlier because man was too primitive.  More egg on their faces for sure as there has been a temple discovered that is at least 10 000 years old.  Let's not forget to mention that without the aid of modern technology and a crane, the Great Pyramids were built, Stonehenge assembled, and the ever famous walls of the Inca with the huge cut rocks that to this day you cannot even get a piece of paper between them.

But the article that got my attention and led to this blog was this:  Neanderthals had tools.  Yup, not sure why this is a surprise, for Neanderthals are perhaps the most misunderstood species of man that we've found to date.  When one is called on, it denotes a dumb person.  Well how many of you know that Neanderthals buried their dead, with flowers, and covered them in red ochre?  That doesn't sound like a dumb-ass to me.   Then there is the fact they did well with living in the cooler regions and most undoubtedly bred with modern man.  The fact that archaeologists are surprised that these brothers of man had stone tools and used them well, just shows the arrogance that smacks around in the science world.

What it all comes down to is this:  we need to keep an open mind and not be so quick to dismiss things that at first appear to be just bullshit. However on the other hand, just because some moron with a Ph.D. says something is so, it doesn't mean it is true.  There has been a lot of abuse of science over the last 20 years, and David Suzuki is one of them.  The moral of this story, don't always trust what you see, and don't assume that everything science has done, or historians have studied, is correct.   You weren't there, neither was I, so take it with a big grain of salt.

Entitlement in Society...WTF People?

The past few days have done nothing for me but to get really angry with something that I have been seeing getting worse and worse all the time:  the attitude of self entitlement that is rampant in society.

In Toronto, they have started the no tolerance blitz with respect to any vehicle blocking traffic during rush hour, something that John Tory brought in.  Bravo John, I applaud you for this, you are the first person to even try and solve the issue with some common sense.  What do I see this morning, but an article about how a small business that cleans grease traps is going to go out of business because they cannot park where they wanted to to go do their job.  John Tory gave people 1 month's notice to figure out what to do, and has discussed giving them areas.  So rather than actually become proactive and part of the solution, this owner decides to change nothing and fumes about getting tickets and getting towed because he is breaking the law.  Wake up moron, you had 1 month to figure this out, instead you have decided it is more important for you to have your own selfish way and decide to block traffic, holding up commuters and such trying to get to work.  Where do you get off that your time is more valuable than theirs?  Quite clearly this is what you are saying.  How about you try adjusting your work schedule so that you are not doing your work during rush hour?  Hmmm there is a thought you selfish prick.  The only reason this guy is going to go out of business if he does, is because of his entitlement.

In yet another article I saw recently, family is outraged city is removing the boards of their ice rink on their front lawn.  Why you ask?  Cause it's against the law.  They feel because it is for the children that it is OK.  Well is it OK if you cut your neighbors cable off because you put a spike through the wire?  Or damage something else?  Did you call before you spiked?  Did you perhaps check the bylaws?  Probably a big resounding no on all of that.  I mean why bother, you are clearly entitled to do whatever you want, despite laws in place to protect you from your stupidity.

So where is this sense of entitlement coming from?  Well it stems from the fact that we are now seeing children from the generation that had everything.  In schools alone, even now at university level, there are no consequences whatsoever for actions that are wrong.  We are not allowed to fail our children in school, because god forbid they actually have to experience failure.  Failure, is never failure if you learn from it.  But even with late assignments, children are no longer penalized, rather they can hand them in late, create a back log in marking for their teachers, who often do this on their own time.  So your kids time is more valuable than the teachers?  Give  me a break, it is bad enough that the teachers have to parent your kids for you because you are either too damned lazy or too interested in being your kid's best friend.  Parenting for most people clearly has gone south (I will state for the record though, I breath a sigh of relief that I do know parents who parent their children properly and don't allow this sense of entitlement).

But it goes even farther.  Sports is full of it, people telling their children its OK to go to weekend tournaments and miss family outings, or let their grades suffer.  We all know that a kid can be dumb as a stump and still be allowed to play sports in school, cause the school will dump however much money they can to make sure that kid earns that petty little grade they need so they can go chase a ball.  One of the things I applauded at my school was when they had the academic banquet, to celebrate those of us with an A minus average or higher.  The last year I was in high school, I was furious because it was the 25th anniversary of the school, and they had to dump the honor banquet to do it and keep up the sports achievement banquet.  How fucking backwards; we are in school for an education, not to play sports.  It doesn't matter what you tell you kid, chances are they won't make the big time for sports and will have to go get a job.

At the end of the day society is doomed as long as this attitude of entitlement continues.  For everyone that gets away with entitlement, at least one person gets shit on.  The best thing for everyone, is grow up, accept responsibility and the consequences, and stop thinking your number 1, cause when you think you're number one, you're really being a piece of number 2.

Predictions for the New Year

Well here we are, 2015, some of us are quite functional, others are well hungover or in fact still drinking.  Whichever it is, Happy New Year.  I never make resolutions, cause they are fucking bullshit anyway.  I thought I would do some predictions here, some in jest, some a bit more serious.

First off, I think you will see one hell of a year for celebrities.  Last year celebrities kept stepping in the shit on social media, stirring up the pot, to the point even a few of them got in fights over not responding to things or pointing things out about incidents.  I am hoping this is the year people will stand up and tell these fucktards to just shut the fuck up.  The message from the common man is often lost because of a few celebrity fucktards.  I grow weary of the media just putting out celebrity input and ignoring what the regular man has to say.  I highly doubt this is going to change, but we can only hope, but in the least, perhaps it will give me some really good fodder to have fun with.

Led Zeppelin - will there ever be another tour?  I doubt it, the inertia for that died not long after the O2 arena concert in 2007 I guess it was.  So people, just move on and find all the bootlegs you can and enjoy them in their heyday.

Pink Floyd - another group with rumours floating around that they will tour again.  Not likely, even Nick Mason has given up on trying to get Grandpa Gilmour out on tour now doing Floyd.  My guess is that last album, more a tribute to Rick Wright, is indeed it.  It is a good way to go out though.

The Who - well is it really their last farewell tour?  I mean this is the group that has made a business with farewell tours.  Yeah they're getting up there, but more and more rock stars are going to the day they die.

Keith Richards - well as someone said about the famous man, he's already dead, his body just doesn't know it yet, enough said.

Politically speaking, I this could be the year Canadians rise up and get rid of one of the most corrupt governments we have ever seen:  The Wynnie the shithead government.  This government has been caught in so many lies and has been investigated so much by the OPP that there is no way they should be able to continue.  Hell they called an election to shut down an investigation and a certain section of Ontario still elected these crooked assholes.

Social media seems to be always at the forefront of things, and even at the end of 2014, there almost seems to be a bit of a hit back against social media because of what is going on:  the quick scandals, people finding stuff out about others they didn't know.  I think, or rather hope that social media will become less important, but I doubt it.  I can certainly say growing up in an age where social media was non-existent,  we would be much better off without it.  It is bad enough when most news sites just act as an extension of social media that I swear people are making shit up just to create a way (Sarah Palin in particular right now).  Now if it could only be effective in making book sales. 

The world in general will no doubt remain at the same level, or escalate to higher levels, the amount of war that is going on.  As long as man is on this planet, there will be war.  People who go out and  have protests will increase no doubt, but they won't do any good.  No one is listening to you much like in the wars of the past.  You are the little man/woman and until you go to war against those going to war, you aren't going to get anywhere and it kind of defeats the purpose doesn't.  Only those with big sticks really get heard these days.

At the end of the day, I think 2015 will simply be 2015.  Why expect anything else?

The year in review....

Well sitting here listening to Led Zeppelin, the year is almost gone, and a new one about to start.  I never make resolutions for the new year, I just can't be bothered, it means I really have to work towards something.

This year saw some firsts for me:  I have published 3 works, Desperation and Conquest, Books 1 and 2 of the Triumvirate Chronicles, and Genesis, an entry into the Anthology of the Guardians Series. I had hoped to have one more piece out, but it didn't happen.  I finally went to my first conventions, Con Bravo, FanExpo and Genrecon and got to meet a lot of really nice people.  I am getting in the groove for taking stuff to the next level for my writing come 2015.  But with the writing have essentially come 3 websites:  this one, my blog, my author page, Alexander Dundass and of course, my newest site, launched just a day or so ago, The Dundass Reviews.  I have goals and aspirations for 2015, but they will remain unspoken for now as I collect myself for the onslaught.

The year 2014 was interesting indeed.  We saw the disappearance of an entire plane in theory, in the Indian Ocean, with no trace whatsoever.  Of course the conspiracy freaks came of the woodwork for sure; not only to mention that CNN had so much coverage, they had to be behind it all (just kidding, maybe).  Then a few months later, another plane was shot down over Ukraine during their little dispute (recall that Putin invaded Ukraine, using the Olympics as a means of distracting everyone), and at the writing of this, a third plane has gone missing in South East Asia, no signs of it at all.  Just what in the hell is happening to these planes.  This year saw an election in Ontario that resulted in the most crooked government of all time in Canada (in my opinion, there might've been one on BC years ago, or Quebec, who the hell knows).  This government has been under investigation for the cancelling of gas plants, dismantling the education system in Ontario, starting with the universities, where strong research that has happened at many fine institutions, is now in threat of closing because of lack of funding.  Of course who can forget the smack in the face to CNN this year when it was reported that as soon as the details of the shooter in Parliament Hill were broadcast on Canadian TVs, we went back to regular programming without spending 26 hours out of 24 hours in a day like CNN always does, and the reporters shit their pants on this one.  And this was am American station reporting this one.  Seems we get right to the facts here and move on.

In the entertainment world, the release of the latest Star Wars trailer, telling us nothing at all, was happily received, especially with the claymore-like sith light saber that went viral, but what was more hilarious, was the fact a lot of people were upset over a black storm trooper.  Like what the fuck people, get a fucking life.  The funniest thing of the year was the so-called Sony hacking (done by that genius in North Korea, Kim Jong Un) that initially resulted in the movie, The Interview initially not being released because of North Korea.  To get back at North Korea, many theatres were going to play Team America, but that was cancelled to.  Of course North Korea claimed they were responsible, but who wouldn't.  Then when all hope had faded that this piece of shit movie would be released, it was released and still a piece of shit.  But this story has its apparent victims because some douchebag bought $65o tickets to scalp to its premier, but then for half the price this movie could be viewed online and is now out his money (Link to news story).

We did lose some notable and famous celebrities.  On Dec 22 we lost the great Joe Cocker, whose rendition of With a Little Help from my Friends to this day stills ends chills up my spine.  The absolute rawness he had that day was spectacular and it became a legendary performance of Woodstock. Joan Rivers finally passed away, shutting up that big mouth for all time down here on Earth.  Glen A Larson, responsible for shows from my childhood, like Battlestar Galactica passed away (man that show was ahead of its time back in the day).  Jack Bruce, famous for being 1/3 of the band Cream is no longer with us, yet another big loss in the music industry.  The actor who played Jaws in 2 of the James Bond is no more, and these just name a few that are no longer with us.  Check out CNN for a comprehensive list.

But alas, 2014 is coming to an end really fast, and much has happened to me this year as well as others around me.  It is time to just tell the year to fuck off and let's start once and make 2015 a better year, and for those of us who did end it bad, it will be good with a little help from our friends.....

So, do you self publish or do you try to get it on with a publiser?

Now that I have my big computer issues solved for now (I had a power outage on Boxing Day that finished corrupting my hard drive, and my fish demanded I fix it immediately so we can get back to playing Led Zeppelin) I can do a bit of blogging.

One of the things that comes to mind is basically do you self publish, or do you try to get it on with a publisher.  With the conventions I've gone to I've had time to chat with other self published authors, as well as my other friends around the country.  I think for the most part, we've reached a stage in publishing where the big publishing houses are going to have to bite the bullet and start looking at more authors.

Traditionally, when I started writing years ago, to even submit anything you had to go through and agent, and that was tough to even get an agent interested in your stuff.  Not to mention that there were many crooked agents who pretty much stole your money.  That in itself is reason enough why I didn't bother publishing until this past year and just writing and editing like crazy.

For me, self publishing, whether ebooks or print, takes a bit longer to get recognized, but hey many famous people take a lot of time to do that.  But with self publishing, I have full control over versions that are up, creating the ebooks (which I can tell you, in some cases, is a really big pain in the ass).  Art is another thing, I have full control over what I want to do with art, and yes art is a good way to attract readers, as often I've bought books based on the art alone, the Pelbar Cycle being a good example.  Now depending on whether your choice of self publishing is advertizing on other sites (personally I feel you are better to do it yourself, which I will go into in another moment or two), you can control the prices pretty good.  Many of the big book stores such as Amazon and Kobo are easy to set up on for ebooks, but of course this past year issues have cropped up that have for the most part, increased the cost of not only print books at these sites, but also the ebooks as well.  Personally, I find it ludicrous to have an ebook priced over $10, and I don't give a shit if you are Stephen King, no ebook is worth over $10.  But now they are being pushed higher and higher.  Often now the only advantage of an ebook is that you can carry many of them on your reader at once.  Now with the publisher I use, I am forced to price my hard backs at close to $40 so I can make a measly $3 if it is bough on Amazon (by the way, fuck you Amazon).  The only reason it is advertized on Amazon as a hard cover is because I get two spots on there, one for hard cover and one for soft cover.

Now on the flip side, there is the publishing industry, the traditional way of going about it.  I met an author at Genrecon who did get in with a publisher and he wasn't very happy about it.  His beef was that he got stuck with a mediocre artist, was given no choice on that matter, and the artist didn't really do a very good job.  The publisher also didn't do a very good job of promoting him either.  Then of course, there are publishers that still insist on submissions being on paper, mailed via snail mail, and you having to provide self-addressed stamped envelopes.  I see that and I just run.  C'mon, surely you all can get an email address and take electronic submissions.  Probably explains why GRRM uses Dos to write instead of something well beyond the technology of the Roman Empire he is stuck in.

The publishing industry is also trying to put a stigma on self publishing; basically saying garbage is only being put out there.  Well guess what, I am finding far more to read out there in the land of independent  and self published authors than with any of the traditional publishers.  And most of the authors are far more talented than some of the bigger authors out there.

In the end, I do prefer self publishing, because of the control I currently have over my stuff.  Perhaps in the future, if my stuff does really take off, I might have to change my ways, but for now, this works well.  But a final note for anyone out there who is working self publishing for the first time:  be wary of any self publisher or cheap publisher and/or agent that asks for money up front.  Do your research and see if there are any complaints against them.  As other authors.  In the end, you decide, but just be wary.

Anthology of the Gurdians: Huntercats - Sneak Preview

Well with it being Christmas Eve, here is a small sneak peak at Hutnercats, or one of the stories contained within this book.  Without further adieu, here it is lads and lasses.

The coldness of space enveloped the tiny ship as it coasted through the void of the solar system with the trinary star located at its center. Behind it in fast pursuit were three other vessels, intent on destroying it. The pilot pointed the triangular ship towards a blue green planet in the distance, cork screwing through space as lasers lit up the vacuum where his craft had been moments before. The pursuers changed course, attempting to keep up, but their bulky, elongated hulls were just not fast enough.

General Canes, formerly General John Zabin, cursed as a shot finally found its mark, shaking him in his chair and setting off alarms indicating an impending hull breach in the engine compartment. His normally short black hair, now shoulder length, jumped in front of his eyes. He cleared his hair, and averted his dark eyes down to the console under his hands. He cursed again; his pursuers had damaged the navigation controls as well. He quickly switched over to manual and set course for the planet in front of him.  Smoke filled the cockpit as the environmental controls shorted out.

“Smiley, prepare for crash landing, we’re going in and we’re going in hard!” he yelled to the compartment behind the cockpit. A large cat with huge ten inch sabres pointing downwards from its mouth pushed itself between the wall and a strap.

“All set Canes,” he replied mentally through their immortal bond.

Canes pulled back on the yoke as they entered the atmosphere of the planet, the nose of the craft changing from black to cherry red from the heat of the gases as the ship dove into the atmosphere. Canes was doing the best he could to control it, but his angle of descent was still a bit too steep, and he saw some of the heat shielding fly off of the tip of one of the wings.  Canes gritted his teeth and adjusted the descent angle; the ship coming a bit more under control.

Canes and his sabre-toothed cat had come to this star system based on intel that had shown a large number of enemy vessels belonging to the Pruchocks, in orbit about the planet and both had jumped to be the ones to do the reconnaissance as he felt that maybe a softer approach would work better this time.  The problem was that Canes just hadn’t expected to be attacked upon immediately entering the system; this meant something big was happening here for the number of Pruchocks present. 

The vessel shook under him again as more heat shielding flew away from the damaged wing. Canes adjusted his course ever so slightly, the shaking subsiding once again. He looked over at his scanner and spotted a formation of fighters trying to intercept him from the planetary surface. This is just getting better and better, Canes thought as he applied the rudders and drove his craft harder, heading towards a large forest. Off in the distance he could see a temple, but matters at hand left him little time to wonder about it right at this minute.

With the skill of a fine pilot, Canes finally levelled out over the jungle, cruising just above the tree tops. The ship shuddered again, sparks bursting forth from the flight console, setting fire to his clothing. The vessel dipped down and brushed the upper branches of the canopy.

“Damn it!” Canes yelled as he patted out the flames lapping away at his chest and groin, the ship’s engines whining in protest over the damage caused by his pursuers.  Losing power, his craft dropped down, brushing the tree tops again, but no matter how much fight Canes put into it, the vessel had given all it had to give. It finally dove sharply into the ground, ploughing into the trees, uprooting them in a cloud of dirt and foliage.

Canes stared through the shattered view port, blood trickling down into his eyes where some glass from the broken canopy had blown inwards upon crashing. “You OK back there Smiley?” asked Canes.

I am OK, just a bit shaken up. We best get out of here before they come around.

“I agree,” replied Canes, unfastening his safety harness and getting out of the pilot’s chair. He turned around and went to the back of the ship, Smiley joining him at his side as he rooted through the survival gear for what he would need. Packing food, water and general survival items, Canes and Smiley exited the ship and turned to look back at it.

“Well this thing isn’t flying again,” replied Canes calmly, taking in the fact that they had landed at the edge of a pond that was hidden by the forest from the air. “We better hide this thing; give them less of our technology.” Canes stared at the vessel and it slowly rose a little bit from the ground. Before long it was floating through the air and presently was hovering over the middle of the pond. Sweat was now beading up on his head as he let it go and it fell with a huge splash and sank below the surface of the water; ripples across the surface the only sign the shuttle had been dumped in there.

“C’mon, let’s go they’re coming. Take point and I’ll follow. I can actually feel them, they’re pretty hot and bothered that we’re here.  Must be something big going on around here.”

You got it Canes, replied Smiley, taking up point and slipping into the forest without a sound.

Preacher looked up at Vruta, his dark penetrating eyes taking in her form. He stood just under her chin, around six feet in height, his dark hair grown out so that it fell over his shoulders and down his back.

Vruta was a Pruchock, known as Huntercats to a few select humans. They were normally the enemy of  humans, but Preacher and Vruta had a history, one that was leading him down a path that veered away from the other Guardians, and his human loyalties. He reached up and scratched Vruta behind her tan colored ears and then placed his hand on the side of her face, staring into her green, feline eyes as she towered over him. Her entire form was covered in a light tan fur, her prehensile tail sticking out behind her, curling up at the affection Preacher was showing. She lowered her paw-like hands down and hugged Preacher, returning his affection, shifting from foot to foot in her digitigrade stance, the two lovers reunited after  months apart.

“I’m happy you sent me a communiqué Vruta, but what is it all about? I didn’t understand what you were asking of me,” inquired Preacher, still in Vruta’s arms. “And what is this place all about?”

I will answer the first question, then show you the second, replied Vruta in her heavily accented Standard as Preacher was still not a master of the Pruchock language. Vruta motioned to Preacher and they started walking out of the room and down a hallway. As you are aware, Turtron escaped the vile clutches of Canes around the time you found me, but he had help. Much like you came after me when I was in a mating rut, Canes’ treatment of Turtron forced him into a rut as well. And it would’ve been lethal to him if not for a human woman.

Preacher sighed.  “Go on, I can tell there is more, and your aura has changed a lot since our last meeting. Why is that?”

You have so many questions, follow me and we will talk. A young Lieutenant, named Larissa, aided Turtron and helped him get over his rut by mating with him, much as we did. What neither of us realized at the time was the consequences to myself and Turtron.

“You mean us mating and having forbidden love? Is that what’s happening here? I risked myself to come here and talk to you about that, when it was understood what we had?  Vruta, I am risking my life even coming here.”

No, there is more my dear Preacher. When you saved me, you passed your abilities on to me, like you I am now immortal and have your powers. And as I told you, I was pregnant by you, no doubt allowed by the nanites flowing through both of our bodies.

Preacher stopped in mid pace, putting his hand on Vruta’s arm. “I never thought that would happen. If any of my friends find out and trace it back to me...”

That’ll not happen. Our children are safe in my pouch now, twins to be exact. Not a normal thing, but then my pregnancy is anything but normal.  Follow quickly, we’re almost at our destination. Turtron also came back infected as an immortal, a victim of Canes’ blood, blood Canes used to heal Turtron when he was wounded during his torture session. But one reasont I called you here for was for this. Vruta pointed into a room that they had arrived at. In many ways, prophecy is being fulfilled by our peoples together, prophecies that have many of our kind worried. Look inside, the upper elite know of what is going on here.